Just who is Donald John Trump, Sr., aka The Donald, aka obnoxious multi-millionaire television personality, aka a business-hotel magnate, aka a maggot to those who despise him? Trump is many things to many people but, right now, he's an unannounced candidate for the Republican nomination for the presidency in 2012, which means he's also a lib target.
He has as much chance of achieving the presidency as I do. Ok, maybe a somewhat better chance but not by much. On the other hand, he carries a helluva lot more baggage than I do, so who knows?
Born with a golden spoon in his mouth, compliments of his late father, Fred, the 65 year old Trump has had a checkered personal and financial life but it's his fortune and political conservatism that will do him in, mainly with liberals who can't stand the scent of either success or conservatives.
The Donald, as he likes to be called, has been sending out feelers to gauge the sentiment of the electorate and, true to form, his feelers aren't your average feelers. Most recently, he's been saying what he thinks about pirates and birth certificates. Also true to form, he doesn't pull any punches.
We usually think Johnny Depp when we think of pirates. History buffs may think Thomas Jefferson and the Barbary Pirates Wars when Jefferson defeated the Muslims of North Africa on the high seas and on "the shores of Tripoli." There's more conflict in and near Tripoli today but Trump directed his attention a little south and west to Somali pirates preying on American and international shipping.
The Donald is blunt about it all: He would obliterate them.
As he said, "Give me one good admiral and a few ships, and I will wipe them out so fast. Can you believe that these guys are taking tankers that are a thousand feet long and cost hundreds of millions of dollars, and just taking them with rowboats? It's hard to believe. One good admiral, that's all I want."
That's all it would need. His frank addition to that resolve is what makes you love him: "It's a total lack of respect for this country."
Our current president seems to lack resolve when it comes to anything, least of all respect for our country.
Trump entered much more turbulent waters than the Indian Ocean when he dared sail into ABC's "The View," where pirates are not an issue but where vicious sharks in the persons of Whoopi and Barbara Walters lay in wait. If it were up to me, I'd opt for murderous pirates but The Donald entered the belly of the beast where the beastettes tried to devour him. He spit them out.
Unfortunately but to his credit, Trump didn't literally spit out, or on, the Whoopster or Baba. He merely reduced them to the babbling, Obama-worshipping idiots they are when he admitted to membership in the club more reviled by libs than Tea Partiers, the hated Birthers!
As is typical with Goldberg, she reduced Trump's doubts about the location of the president's birth and birth certificate to, what else, a matter of racism.
The Donald, aware he was in a lion's den and more gracious to the Whoopster than he was required to be, kept his cool and explained that "nobody from those early years remembers" Obama. People remember him from kindergarten but no one can remember Obama. "There's something on that birth certificate that he doesn't like."
Unleashed, dreadlocks flapping in the breezeless studio, Goldberg went on a typical racial tear devoid of any substance: "I think that's the biggest pile of dog mess I've heard in ages" and asked "it's not because he's black, is it?" Trump said it has nothing to do with that, but Whoopi was unsated.
Unfortunately not storming off the set as she has done in the past, Whoop continued, "because I've never heard a white president asked to show his birth certificate. When you become a President of the United States of America, you know that he's American. I'm sorry, that's B.S."
I've never heard of any president so consumed with secrecy. Not only has Obama failed to provide a certificate of live birth from Hawaii but the Democrat governor of that state has been unable to find it despite his pledge to do so. Similarly, Obama hasn't released his college transcripts, which would reveal the courses he studied, and medical history, which could reveal God knows what, but Trump didn't go there.
I don't know exactly where the Donald is going but it's certainly not the White House. Americans may elect Democrat peanut farmers, accused rapists, and unqualified junior senators to the presidency but whether we're ready to elect a forthright, tell-it-like-it is, golden boy with a strange thing on his head is another question.
If he's truly sincere in his concern for the sorry state of our union, Trump should hold off spending that $300 million of his until the Republicans nominate someone like-minded who could win. New Jersey's Governor Chris Christie comes to mind but he can't win. He was just a lawyer, Morris County Freeholder, United States Attorney, and now a governor. He was never even a radical community organizer.
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